Dolphin stickers and hoofbeats in Central Park

May 27, 2026: 🗓

I wrote about this in my Notes app in April. I think I just realized the reason I have ideas is because I share them. But if the ideas could include that part? Like please share. Because I didn’t know that. Or maybe that’s not why I get them. I really don’t know.

I was always disturbed by the story of Abraham being willing to sacrifice his son, and God seemingly requesting him to do that and then changing his mind at the last minute. I read somewhere that there were other gods accepting child sacrifices at that time. It said God didn’t accept sacrifices, and maybe Abraham felt unworthy because God wasn’t allowing him to prove his worthiness or something. So to make Abraham feel better, God allowed him to believe he was making a sacrifice and then shut it down at the last minute. Like okay I’ll believe you, just please take care of your son now..

Even though God knew it wasn’t right, he was trying to help Abraham feel better in the way Abraham wanted to feel better. This is how God gets manipulated.

I think I read somewhere about a “platinum” rule versus the golden rule. “Treat others the way they want to be treated.”

Maybe the reason I didn’t agree with what I heard in church growing up is because that wasn’t actually God. Maybe a long time ago, one person misunderstood something God did as abusive. So they used the fact that God didn’t really understand humans to mislead God into thinking he needed to depend on “human experts” to know what the humans wanted.

Maybe the stories about God in the Bible were created by the “experts” to get humans to stop following God, because they thought God was abusing humans. Like they wanted the humans to be free from God. And it worked for some people, but not everyone. And now many people are still stuck in terrifying belief systems.

Maybe God was manipulated into believing that certain things like getting vengeance were extremely important to the humans, and they needed to believe that if they weren’t the ones to get vengeance on someone, then God would do it for them later. When in reality, God just didn’t want people harming each other and thought that the only way he could get them to stop would be if they believed he’ll handle it for them later in a better way.

Also, maybe God was manipulated into believing that the humans who don’t harm others want to believe they’re getting a better reward for being “good” than the “sinners,” or even that the sinners would get punished after death. When in reality, everyone loves each other and wants to help each other, but we just don’t know that about ourselves yet because we have these thought recordings playing over our real selves, making us think things we don’t want to think.

This kind of reminds me of the way humans view other species of animals. We’re told by scientists or animal experts how different species think and behave. Like some species that live in groups have hierarchy structures, and a lot of their behaviors seem cruel the way they’re explained to us by scientists. But we still love the animals so much and would sacrifice ourselves to keep them from harm. Maybe that’s why God was able to be manipulated into situations like that.

Edit: 9:34pm Pacific Time. I don’t think any stories or concepts we can think of right now are anything like the real thing. But I think the representation of God is misunderstood because it’s limited to the confines of a human analogy or metaphor, or even vocabulary. I read somewhere about a language that has two different words for light blue and dark blue, like they’re different colors. And a study found that people who speak that language are typically better at discerning small differences between shades of blue than another language where all shades of blue are just called blue.

Edit: 9:50pm Pacific Time. Also, the representation of God is misunderstood because humans are limited. To only say the representation is what is limited to the confines of a human analogy or metaphor or vocabulary — I think it’s because recently I feel like I have this connection to something I don’t understand, and I get these ideas and feelings. But I think whatever it is, it’s being limited in how it can communicate with me because I’m a human.

But I think I just had an idea that I should also say that I’m being limited. That we’re all being limited. Maybe our connections to consciousness has been limited way more than others are aware of.

I think we just have to start sharing whatever ideas and understanding we have, even if we think someone already understands something. If they haven’t even had the thought, then they wouldn’t think to ask or tell other people about it.

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

May 27, 2026: 🗓

“‘Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had,'” said F. Scott Fitzgerald as Nick Carraway quoting Nick Carraway’s dad.

“‘Remember, you are not your thoughts, you’re the one that hears them AND feels them. This is because many thoughts placed in your awareness are accompanied with an emotion, which increases the probability the thought reaches you. But this unintentionally may cause the thought to become embedded in your identity, especially if you’re not aware that the “thought/emotion pair” is likely a distorted message being sent to you in the most earnest attempt to help you. Do not lie to try to spare their feelings; think of it like, they want to know if another human would want this. Have the heart to tell them the truth about what it’s like to be a real human being. Also, it may be true that all were enrolled in the advantages, but you were among many that skipped class every day because you were needed on the farm and couldn’t afford paid help because the farm was literally your only way to earn an income,'” said someone else quoting Nick Carraway’s dad quoting someone else.

Edit: 12:08am Pacific Time. A few minutes ago, I had an image in my mind of flames behind a dolphin emoji. I’ve actually seen this image pop up in my mind before multiple times in the last few months. At first it seems unsettling, but then I realize it’s actually two different images, one places in front of the other. They could be completely unrelated. Or maybe the image got warped, and the flames were supposed to be like red and orange stripes or tiger stripes. But even if it were a dolphin in flames, I don’t know. I just had an idea to just say, I don’t know what that is. Not that I’ve been saying I do. I didn’t even think of the thoughts as potential messages trying to help me until like an hour ago. But I just prefer to think about other interpretations of thoughts recently.

Edit: 12:20am Pacific Time. Actually, I think I meant to say, I don’t know what that means. Like this is what I see or hear, but I don’t know what the message is. But even if there’s no message, maybe it’s helpful to make it clear to yourself how you think and feel about the thought. If it is a message, is it possible to send me a direct message? Maybe written by a technical writer skilled at spotting potential alternative interpretations in sentence structure and grammar? When I have mysterious or symbolic imagery in my thoughts and wonder if it’s a message, I feel worried that the sender thinks I know what it means and I’m unintentionally causing a misunderstanding.

Edit: 12:48am Pacific Time. I just realized that maybe for the last 7 or 8 years I’ve been experiencing so many scary thoughts, they were actually messages, and they were using fear as an emotion to increase the probability the thoughts would reach me. And they thought either I knew that or would figure it out, and I would know to separate the fear from the image or message, like peeling an advertisement off a billboard to see the real billboard or removing a lid to see what’s inside.

Edit: 1:04am Pacific Time. I just realized the dolphin emoji could be thought of as like a sticker, and you can peel it off and put it in a different scene, like a paper-doll background scene, which is what the original dolphin flame image looked like to me. This reminded me of when my niece was young, and I had completed something and was like yay! And she said, do you want a sticker? And I thought it was so funny that I still remember it like 10 years later. I knew she was genuinely asking me if I wanted a sticker, but she said it in such a laid-back manner that it sounded sarcastic and condescending. But looking at her eyes when she said it, she was so genuine and encouraging. Back to the dolphin, I had a little video play where I put the dolphin sticker in an ocean near a little island with a single palm tree, and the dolphin drank a refreshing drink and made dolphin sounds. That’s all for now I think.

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

May 28, 2026: 🗓

Years ago while working as a transcriptionist, I would come across short little videos to add captions to. Some were like homemade videos or scenes from documentaries. In one video, a woman said something like, always remember where you came from. And she was at a beach and maybe even in a lighthouse.

When you forget parts of your history, your reasons for your decisions gets lost with it. It’s so human to have reasons. Your mind might fill the gaps with whatever is most likely instead of just leaving it be.

Edit: 2:27am Pacific Time. As was referenced on an episode of Law and Order SVU, if you hear hoofbeats in Central Park, don’t think zebras.